Two Vampires and a Dragon
by Darkshadow7
Summary: I added romance since people seem to like romance. I'm actually trying, the least you could do is read this. Anyhow, Devin and Drak find an ox man in the wilderness who seems to know Viktor..........
1. A Journey of Two Friends

This story takes place in the world of Suikoden 2 a few months after the fall of Highland. Basically, a vampire and his dragon friend are searching for Sierra, but they just can't stop getting caught up in accidents. The hero's name shall be Nall, and his castle is called Genkaku Castle.  
  
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Chapter 1: A Journey of Two Friends  
  
I don't own Suikoden 2; I definitely don't own any runes or characters either. But Devin and Dracius, them I do own, so back off if you plan on using them in some other thing or else ask me first. If you want to make fun of the characters' stupidity, tell me all about it. I'd enjoy it. Anyhow, this is about how Devin, Sierra's childhood friend, goes on a journey to be reunited with her since he found out she was alive from some guy, Richmond to be precise. This story is also about Dracius, a powerful immortal with big ambitions: Getting Leknaat's Gate Rune, getting Nall's Bright Shield Rune, killing Luc, killing Devin, and, above all else, to kill his own mother and father. See? He's not so bad. Please read and review. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The journey began with Devin. Sure, Devin was easily confused, indecisive, and just plain stupid, but beyond all that, he has a long lost love and a heart of gold. Well, maybe copper. He had on his right hand the Dark Dragon Rune, a powerful rune that summons the power of darkness, as do several other runes. He was never sure if his rune was a true rune. He just figured 'with 27/1000000 odds, how could it not be a true rune?' Good logic, huh? Anyway, Devin had short black hair, a black cloak with a hood, which he never seemed to put up, a brown scarf covering his mouth and nose, black gauntlets and boots, which he stole from Yuber, tan baggy pants (baggy like Tuta's, except longer and tan colored), a green tunic, and a black sword in a pitch-black sheath. I'm guessing his favorite color is yellow. Devin traveled with his best friend, Dracius. They had been friends since they were children about 1000 years ago. The journey starts in the Cave of Doom Scourge. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"So you're sure it's safe to go through here? The old man we talked to said that not even Tir McDohl was able to get through here." Dracius asked Devin unsurely, seeing as Devin had a horrible sense of logic.  
"Of course I'm sure, Drak. Tir McDohl had one True Rune, and we have two between both of us. Plus, the White Dragon and Dark Dragon True Runes are among the most powerful." Devin said.  
"First of all, stop calling me Drak. Second, why do I listen to an idiot like you? You ate paint chips when you were a kid, for cryin' out loud! Last, you don't know if these are True Runes! You didn't even stick around to hear Leknaat tell us how to use them when she gave them to us! One more thing I just thought: If you're a vampire, why don't you have to suck blood?" Dracius yelled.  
"Well, you listen to me because we're best friends, and I know these are true runes because they never mention all of the true runes. I don't suck blood because I don't like the taste." Devin said matter-of-factly.  
"I hope you realize that unless a vampire who isn't under the influence of the Moon Rune and doesn't suck blood either goes nearly brain dead or dies? And who's 'they'? I hope you're not talking about the pixie gnomes in your head again." Dracius replied.  
"No, they moved out last week." Devin stated. " When I said 'they', I meant Luc and Leknaat. They told me that the Fire, Earth, Wind, Water, Resurrection, Lightning, Bright Shield, Black Sword, Soul Eater, and Moon Runes were all of the 27 True Runes. It took me a few weeks to realize that all of those didn't add up to 27, so that means that there are more True Runes than those." Devin explained.  
"Hmmm. Oh, that's right. You were dropped on your head a lot when you were a kid, too. Now it makes sense." Dracius laughed.  
"Let's just get going." Devin said blankly.  
Well, the "heroes" are off to a pretty bad start. They may get eaten, they might get lost and they die, and they might even kill each other first. That would give them about a 25% chance of survival. That's actually 72%, the way Devin does his math. As the two centuries-old friends began to trudge through the dark cave, Dracius began to think. 'This stupid vampire is going to get me killed. If I had a better rune than this pathetic White Dragon Rune, I could remove his soul from his body with ease. I could EAT the soul, too, if I so desired. Oh yeah, there will be a day of destruction for you, 'best friend!''  
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Dracius cackled out loud.  
"It's a good thing I've learned to ignore that." Devin responded, ignorantly.  
"Oh, um, sorry, 'best friend. After all, you are my 'best friend' in the whole wide world." Dracius said in a really fake, horrible acting skills sort of way.  
"Aw. That's a nice thing to say." Devin replied, blind to the fact that Dracius was being sarcastic.  
As Devin and Dracius aimlessly roamed the cave, they fought many hordes of monsters. Devin saw these monsters as being weak fools, and therefore was very reckless in battle. He pretty much got as beat up and sliced as one can endure. Devin's unmatched stupidity cost Dracius a lot.  
"Healing Breath!" Dracius shouted, causing a dragon familiar to emerge from his hand, which sprayed healing breath on Dracius and Devin. "Well I hope you're happy. That's the last bit of power I have left for that spell."  
"Why not use energy you would use for other spells?" Devin questioned.  
"I have no idea. It's as though each spell requires a unique energy." Dracius replied.  
"Well, I guess we should keep going." Devin stated.  
As Devin and Dracius continued, they ran into a large bear.  
"AHH!!! It's Bear Man!" Devin shouted.  
"Devin, you... Nope, it's too easy." Dracius muttered.  
Devin drew his sword. "MO! DON' ATAFF FME!!" the horrible, horrible bear man who even had fur on his face shouted. "You see? That's his horrible, horrible battle initiating war cry!" Devin said to Dracius. "Well, I GUESS we'll kill it. But only because killing is among my few hobbies." Dracius responded. "Right. I'll start by chopping that fur off of its face! Die Bear Man!" Devin yelled. Devin's sword cut the fake fur clean off of the man's face. The slash took off some of the man's skin and a rather large portion of his nose. YEOW!!! What did you do that for you idiot? You're the dumbest guy I've ever met!" the man shouted. "Trust me. He'll amaze you with even greater levels of stupidity." Dracius said to Viktor, smiling that he met someone who also recognizes Devin's stupidity, but sad because he didn't get to kill the man.  
"Whatever. Anyway I'm Viktor. What are you two small boys doing here in the Cave of Wind anyhow?" Viktor inquired.  
"We're not THAT small compared to you." Dracius says, suddenly realizing Viktor's unreal height. "Never mind. Wait a minute! Did you say 'Cave of Wind?'"  
"Yep. I'm here to return the Star Dragon Sword." Viktor said, holding up the sword while covering its mouth.  
"GAH! RELEAFF ME YOO FOW BEER MON!" the sword said.  
"I don't drink that much beer. Jerk." Viktor replied angrily.  
"Pft. Big deal. I used that thing when it was still the Star Dragon Knife." Dracius said proudly. "Anyhow, DEVIN!?"  
"What's up?" Devin asked.  
"I can't believe you gave some gay old man 5000 potch for information on a secret entrance to the Cave of Wind."  
"Did I really say 5000? Nooo. I gave him 50000."  
"You did WHAT!?"  
"Also, I gave him that 'dragon lord armor' of yours. Was that important?"  
"Note to self: The day I kill Devin shall now be the second happiest day of my life instead of the third." Dracius mumbled so no one could hear.  
"Right. Anyway, I know a quick way out, so you small boys oughtta come with me." Viktor said.  
Well, while the three were walking, Viktor explained that the Star Dragon Sword destroyed all of his clothes with fire magic, so he had to wear those furs. Dracius explained how Devin has mental problems beyond that of anyone's imagination. Devin explained that he drinks tomato juice instead of blood. He said his mind and body couldn't tell the difference for some reason. Quoth Dracius, "In other words, what I just said." So, when they finally made it out of the cave, Viktor led the two boys to Genkaku Castle.  
"By the way," Viktor explained. "You two are my prisoners now."  
"Alright, enough kidding around. Look, Bear. I'm Dracius and this is Devin." Dracius said, obviously.  
There was silence for a while.  
"So?" Viktor responded.  
"We're legendary warriors!" Dracius shouted.  
There was another period of silence.  
"Never heard of you." Viktor stated.  
"Look. We're centuries upon centuries old! We're possessors of runes that contain the power of legendary dragon gods!" Dracius said.  
"Listen, if you were so powerful, I'm sure you would have escaped by now or something. Now lemme show you to your cells." Viktor said as he dragged the two immortals to their prison cells. "By the way, in spite of what you may of heard, prison food sucks."  
"Nice. Now we, two legendary heroes of old, must rot in a prison cell." A very angered Dracius said.  
"Uh, Dracius, what did we do that was so special and heroic anyhow?" Devin asked.  
"I don't know! We've lived since practically the dawn of time, though. Isn't that enough to impress people these days?"  
"It certainly doesn't impress me, Dracius." A mysterious voice said in a mysterious tone.  
"Great. It's Leknaat." Dracius said sarcastically.  
"Well, well, well. Luc told me a pathetic lot was brought in, but I never imagined the lot to be as pathetic as you two. Too bad you didn't listen to me over 1000 years ago, Devin. You might be out of here by now." Leknaat explained.  
"Um, you think maybe you could tell me now?" Devin pleaded.  
"You must trust in your own power. Your rune shall guide you to freedom. Goodbye Devin. Dracius." Leknaat stated, disappearing afterwards.  
"Did you get the meaning of that, Devin?" Dracius inquired.  
"Huh? I wasn't even paying attention that whole time." Devin said lazily.  
"You'll never change, will you Devin?" A strange yet familiar voice said.  
"Oh, hello Sierra. How ya been?" Devin asked, still maintaining a lazy tone.  
"Oh, you know, I've been fine considering the fact that you sealed me in a stone cage for decades before I could break out!" Sierra shouted, panting like a rabid dog. "But I see you've become a vampire since last we met all those centuries ago."  
"Huh? AHH! I'm a vampire!" Devin yelled. "AHH! You're a vampire, too!"  
"Why did I stop at wondering how you remember to breathe, Devin? Though I DO have to remind you a few times..." Dracius said. "So, yeah, Devin's rune turned him into a vampire. He went crazy at first."  
"Well, the vampire thing was meant as a punishment." Devin pointed out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Why not kill her rather than seal her away, Devin? It's what you and I both want." Devin's rune had told him.  
"You can talk? Weird. Anyways, I think it's best to seal her away until the Moon Rune's corruptive power dies down. Somehow." Devin replied.  
"Oh, a vampire hugger, eh? Look, how 'bout I turn you into a vampire if you like them so much?"  
"Yeah. You know what? You go ahead and try tha- GAH!!"  
"HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh, it pays to be evil."  
"Hey, Devin, you should- WHAT THE?" Dracius shouted as he made the scene.  
"MWAHAHAHA!! You cannot save him, Drak." The rune replied.  
"Save him? I want to thank you! But I guess I'll save him since you called me Drak." Drak, err, Dracius responded.  
"RAWR!" Devin growled.  
"Shut up. White Dragon Rune, save his pathetic and pitiful life yet again if you please." Dracius said.  
Devin was broken free from one of the twelve spells cast on him. At least he could control himself, I suppose.  
"Ouch. I'm thirsty. Let's go get some blood." Devin stated "By the way, rune, act up again and I'll stab you. It'll hurt, too, I think."  
"Eh? How about this bear blood, Devin?" Dracius asked.  
"Sweet!" Devin exclaimed as he began to drink the blood out of the bottle. He puked after the first sip. "GAH!! It's disgusting and putrid. Curse you, filthy bears!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Not a Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"I've hated bears ever since." Devin said. "You had bear blood in a bottle, Dracius?" Sierra asked.  
"Yeah. I put poison in it that causes severe brain damage. I was going to give it to you." Dracius said in an evil tone.  
"You realize I'm right here and heard you when you said that, right?" Sierra questioned.  
"Yeah. Why?" Dracius inquired.  
"Just checking. So, what have you two been up to these past centuries?"  
"Well, seeing as I forgot you were a vampire after I drank the bear blood, I thought you were dead so I just aimlessly roamed the world, drowned in self pity." Devin stated. "I thought of the good old days I spent with you, Sierra."  
"Aw. That's so nice." Dracius and Sierra said at the same time, except Dracius was being sarcastic.  
"I thought about that time that Dracius was sick, and you and I climbed Mt. Raijin to get him the antidote, and we had to stay there over night, and the only way for us to keep warm was to-  
"Uh, that's a lot more information about you and Sierra than I ever wanted to hear, Devin." Dracius interrupted. "Oh, and what have YOU been doing, Sierra?"  
"Well, since Devin's 'barrier' didn't seem to hold, I escaped to the forest and-  
"Too much information there, Si" Dracius interrupted yet again.  
"Si? SI? That name angers me, Drak." Sierra replied darkly.  
"So? What do I care, OLD HAG?" Dracius responded.  
"Drak, that's really not a good idea." Devin mumbled.  
"Oh, right. Sorry, old BAT."  
You could pretty much say every last raging fire the underworld had to offer broke loose right in that room. The coven mistress used these flames to nearly burn the insolent dragon's corpse to ashes. The not-smart vampire just watched the fire show.  
"You're lucky you are one of my only friends, dragon." Sierra shouted as she stomped out of the room.  
No sooner than Sierra left had a certain blue boy carrying a tray of food stepped in.  
"So you're the prisoners, eh? What did you do, huh?" the man said.  
"Look, my skin is completely scorched. Could I please have a paint chipper?" Dracius asked. The blue man handed one to him. "We didn't do anything. That bear man just threw us in here." Devin stated. "Hey! You're Blue Lightning Flik!" "Hmm. You don't look to be from around here. How would you know that?" Flik inquired. "Well, I gave up a mindfulness rune to read your mind for a bit." Devin replied, regaining his stupid demeanor.  
"Uh, isn't that kind of a waste?" Flik questioned.  
"It's never a waste when you're me." Devin retorted.  
"Right. So, here's you lunch. Our head chef, Chef Nanami, cooked this especially for you two." Flik said as he handed the two small boys the tray. "Her cooking is truly magnificent, and she never passes up an opportunity to cook."  
"Thanks." Devin said, once again using a lazy tone.  
"Heh. Suckers." Flik chuckled as he walked away.  
No sooner than Devin and Dracius had taken their first bite had they puked all over the prison cell floor.  
"ACK! This stuff's disgusting! What is this?" Dracius asked.  
"Hey, there's a paper here!" Devin exclaimed. "It says 'Chef Special: Raw Sewa'ge. Enjoy, suckers.' This is beyond cruel."  
"That's it! I've had it with this place! Devin, we're bustin' out!"  
  
To be continued.  
  
So how was the first chapter? Reviews would help me a lot, so try to write a quick blurb please. Chapter two will be up soon. 


	2. The Escape and some Ninjas

Okay, I don't own Suikoden 2 or virtually anything in it. There were a few grammatical errors in my first chapter, but I shall be more careful. I should probably mention that the reason why it doesn't say the main characters names right away is because Devin and/or Dracius don't know their names. Please R&R.  
Chapter 2: An Escape and some Ninjas.  
  
"Huh?" Devin asked.  
"You know, escape?" Dracius questioned  
"Oh! Why didn't you just say so?"  
". . . . . . . Let's just get out of here."  
"Cool! I've got about 1,000 ideas, too!"  
Devin started by putting his sword on the ground. He then took two rocks and smashed them together above his sword.  
"What in the names of the 100,000 dragon gods, each one unique in physical appearance and mental structure, are you doing?" Dracius inquired sternly.  
"Well, I'm gonna light my sword on fire." Devin replied, without thinking as always.  
"You can't light a sword on fire! What would doing so accomplish anyhow?"  
"I don't know, but it sure would look cool."  
". . . . . . . . . . I've got a better idea."  
Dracius used his White Dragon Rune to summon all white dragons in a mile radius to come to him. The only dragon that felt the call was a baby.  
"That's it?" Dracius asked rhetorically. "That hatchling is the only white dragon in a mile radius?"  
Just then, a young dragon knight marched in angrily.  
"Ah, there you are, Bright. I was worried about you." The boy said, turning to Dracius afterward, the look on his face changing from happiness to anger. "You! Who do you think you are, kidnapping Bright like that?"  
"Look, all I was doing was summoning white dragons to get us out of here." Dracius growled.  
"Oh, really? Well, I'll just inform the others about that. Let's go Bright!" the boy said as he ran off.  
"Man, I'm gonna kill that kid! Well, now we're really out of time, Devin."  
"I've got a plan."  
"No way, Devin. YOU have a plan?"  
"Yep. You know that girl Viki? The one at the celebration for the founding of the Toran Republic? I heard that she's here."  
"Hey, you're right! . . . . . . . . . Wait, what? You're right? Is that even a proper sentence? Can it even make sense?"  
"Sure it can! Now then, SCRRRRRRRRRIBA!" Devin shouted.  
"What the-  
Just then, Viki appeared in front of the prison cell.  
"I refuse to believe that worked." Dracius stated in disbelief.  
"Oh, uh, hey! You two are those guys from that celebration about the founding of the Toran Republic a few months ago." Viki babbled.  
"Viki, that was 3 years ago." Dracius replied, feeling sick and tired of being surrounded by idiots.  
"Huh? What? But how can that be?" Viki asked nervously.  
"Yeah, Drak, are you sure it wasn't a few months ago? I thought it was." Devin foolishly stated.  
"Alright, just shut up!" Dracius exploded. "Viki, can you please 'blink' us far away from here?"  
"Huh? Uh, um, sure. Uh, Shazam!" Viki shouted.  
Devin and Dracius were accidentally teleported right outside of their cell.  
"Oops. Sorry, guys." Viki said apologetically.  
"Whatever. Close enough. Let's get out of here, Devin." Dracius stated firmly.  
"Okay, um, bye guys! I'll, uh, miss you!" Viki exclaimed in a confused fashion.  
As Devin and Dracius were about to escape, Kahn stopped them. Devin drew his sword, but Kahn held up the hand that held his Resurrection Rune, causing Devin to hesitate, and then drop his weapon altogether.  
"Good boy. Now then, if you'll just put your hands in the air, I'll proceed to-  
"Wait a minute! I don't fear you, Marley. I'm a dragon, and I don't cower to runes like the Resurrection Rune." Dracius hastily intervened.  
"This is true, dragon. But," Kahn trailed off as he raised his other hand. "I also possess an Ice Rune, easily capable of bringing down the likes of you."  
"So, Marley, you've taken up dragon-slaying, have you? You don't come by a rune like that every day." Dracius said.  
"Listen, Marley, I may be a vampire, but I'm not a blood-sucking demon. You can't just persecute me that way!" Devin yelled.  
"Devin, how? How is it you could say all of those sophisticated words? Has my entire outlook on you been a lie this whole time?" Dracius inquired.  
"Vampire hunter, quit picking on my servants." Sierra shouted from the shadows. "I know you don't want to hurt my servants."  
"S, Servants?" Dracius asked in a disgusted voice.  
"Just play along." Sierra whispered.  
"Whatever." Dracius muttered as Devin began to speak to Kahn.  
"Uh, Marley, have you, err, met, um, Lady Sier-  
There was a small popping sound at that moment.  
"Aw, gees. My brain, it die again. One second, I just hit my head few times. It bounce back soon."  
As Devin started beating on his head, Dracius began to speak.  
"Look, I don't see why or how anyone would believe this. . . . . . ."  
"I don't buy this for one lousy second, but I guess I'll buy the fact that Devin and Drak here ain't bad guys. Listen, if you wanna get out, appeal to the court of Genkaku castle." Kahn explained.  
"Great. We'll do that."  
Before the next day, Kahn and Sierra explained who everyone in the castle was. It was enough to kill Devin from boredom, but Dracius seemed to get all the names down. The next day, Devin and Dracius found themselves in the courtroom. A lot of noise was being made, and Tony, the gardener, brought fruit out for people to throw at the unsightly dragon and vampire. Lord Ridley then silenced the crowd.  
"Ahem. Court is now in session, the honorable Judge Sid presiding." Ridley announced.  
Sid came out dressed in a black judge's robe, carrying what looked to be a cross between a spear and a hammer.  
"HEE HEE HEE. . . . . . . . ." Sid mumbled in a scary, evil tone.  
At that moment, Sierra marched into the room and sat in between Devin and Dracius.  
"Hi, Sierra! What'cha doin' here?" Devin asked gleefully, unaware of how utterly doomed he was.  
"What else? I'm going to save you two by representing you guys in court." Sierra stated proudly.  
What did I do to deserve this, Raj, dragon god of mild justice?" Dracius asked, burying his head in his hands. "Sure, I've murdered countless, desecrated landmarks in the thousands and counting, stolen things that this world practically NEEDS to survive, but is it really worth all this?"  
"Right, so, Sierra?" Devin questioned.  
"Hmm? What is it, Devie?" Sierra asked in attempts to cause Devin to lose his composure. (Devie?)  
"Uh, err, do we stand a chance here?"  
"Hmm, that actually depends on who-  
"HEEHEEHEE! RELEASE THE CURSED JURY! THIS WHOLE FREAKIN' COURTROOM IS CURSED! HEEHEEHEE!" Sid wailed.  
"Ahh!" Chaco shouted as he quickly left the room.  
So, the jury stepped in. The jury went as follows: Clive, whom Devin bored and delayed with pointless banter in Radat town one time, allowing Elza to escape; Luc, whom Dracius murdered several times, forcing Leknaat to revive him; Tuta, who Devin weaved a curse on, making Tuta wet the bed every night until he had turned 10, which was only one year ago; Kahn, who might support Devin and Dracius; and Tetsu, a man who Devin ruined the business of by peeing in all of his baths.  
"We're doomed." Devin, Dracius, and Sierra all said at the same time.  
"Right. With the arriving of the jury, court shall now be in session!" Ridley shouted.  
"Guilty!" Clive shouted as he blasted the roof with his shotgun several times, causing rain to leak into the room. "Oops, didn't know it was raining. . . . . . . . ."  
"Guilty!" Luc shouted as he hurled blades of wind at Dracius.  
"Guilty as #%$#!" Tuta screamed as he barraged Devin with rocks, aiming for his head.  
"Guilty, but, uh, not guilty." Kahn said, causing the courtroom to throw fruit at him, too.  
"GUILTY!" Tetsu yelled while chucking large soap bars at Devin.  
"ORDER! ORDER, ORDER, ORDER!" Sid screeched. The room silenced. "Hee hee. I got the power. Right, uh, call your first witness, pale chick."  
"I'll ignore that. I, uh, what do I do now?" Sierra inquired, revealing that she had never done this before.  
"CALL SOMEONE TO THE STAND!!" the entire courtroom aside from a select few shouted.  
"Alright, alright. I shall call to the stand Viki."  
"Huh? What? You mean me?" Viki questioned as she walked over to the stand.  
"Now tell me, Viki, have Devin and Dracius not been your friends for about, oh, 10 years, ever since you were a little girl?" Sierra asked.  
"I, um, guess that's true." Viki said uneasily.  
"And have they not assisting you in various ways during that time?"  
"Uh, err, they have."  
"Including saving your childhood cat, Fluffy?"  
"Yes."  
"Yet they were grown men and you were a small child at the time? Are these the aspects of a bad person?"  
"Yes. No wait, no! I mean, um. . . . . . . . . AHCHOO!"  
No sooner than Viki had sneezed had she teleported out of the room.  
"Uh, nothing further I guess." Sierra stated blankly.  
Sierra returned to her seat near Devin and Dracius.  
"Wow! How did you know all of that?" Devin inquired. "I didn't even remember half that stuff, and you weren't even there at the time."  
"Hey, when you're out of business, you got business with Richmond." Sierra replied.  
"Uh, I don't see what you're implying." Devin said stupidly.  
"Never mind." Sierra sighed.  
In this way, the trial continued for several hours, but then it finally ended.  
"I never thought I would die of boredom. . . . . . . in a courtroom." Dracius mumbled weakly.  
"Your honor, my client was wearing a green tunic at the time and-  
"Whatever! Cursed jury, a decision. Now!" Sid shouted, interrupting Sierra.  
"Guilty."  
"Guilty."  
"Uh, not guilty."  
"Not guilty."  
"Guilty."  
"Oh, sorry Devin, Dracius, but it seems you lose! Heeheehee!" Sid shouted demonically. "I sentence you and you lawyer lady to one gillion years in prison!"  
"Your honor, that's not a num-  
"Silence!" Sid cackled as he left the courtroom.  
The crowd jeered and laughed. Just then, Kasumi teleported behind the vampires and the dragon to tell them something. Sasuke appeared as well.  
"Listen, I'll get you three out of here." Kasumi said.  
"I will help as well, but it's not because of you, Kasumi." Sasuke insisted. "Honzo ordered me too."  
"But Honzo's not even here." Kasumi retorted.  
"Uh, err, let's leave." Sasuke said.  
Kasumi and Sasuke grabbed the three and brought them out of the castle. There they explained the situation.  
"We are truly sorry for this. This sort of thing would not happen if Lord Nall were here." Kasumi stated.  
"Unfortunately, Lord Nall is away at an important meeting with the other leaders of the City-State. He will not be back for a few weeks yet." Sasuke explained.  
"You three should run away until Lord Nall is back. We shall go now. Good-bye." Kasumi said as she and Sasuke warped away.  
"Well, I guess it'll just be the three of us, eh?" Devin asked rhetorically and very happily.  
"Just like old times." Sierra stated while maintaining a lazy smile.  
"Why, Ilk, dragon god of pity and self-pity? Why do you test me so? Well, I suppose I could kill three birds with one stone. Maybe five." Dracius mumbled.  
"Okay, let's get go-  
"Not so fast!" Luc shouted from out of nowhere, interrupting Devin. "You've killed me far too many times, Dracius! My revenge shall take place now! You and I, Dracius! A duel!"  
"Hold it!" Alex exclaimed as he walked out of the castle. "First off, you both gotta use staffs. Second, someone must shout out what you two are doing as you fight each other. Vampire-boy, you do it."  
"Okay." Devin replied. "But I'm not a boy. I'm a grown man."  
"Okay, Luc and, uh, dragon-guy, take your staves." Alex ordered.  
Dracius and Luc grabbed their staves and got ready to fight. Devin stood at the sidelines and shouted out what they were doing.  
"Alright, begin!" Devin shouted, the two boys lunging at each other no sooner than the words left Devin's mouth. "And Luc charges at Drak, but Drak charges faster and more wildly. Oh, that's gotta hurt! Luc was knocked to the ground, but he gets up and is ready for round two! He charges much more furiously, but Dracius decides to take a defensive stance. Luc stops charging forward, and instead quickly strikes with a more balanced attack. Dracius dodges anyway and strikes Luc down."  
"That's it! True Wind Rune, cut him up with blades of wind-based fury!" Luc yelled as he released wind scythes from his rune.  
"Uh, White Dragon Rune, form a shield to block this magic!" Dracius shouted.  
The two runes were evenly matched, it seemed. Devin walked over to Luc in the midst of this rune battle and opened a bottle, which he stuck near Luc's nose. Luc inhaled the smoke from it, and fell to the ground with his hand over his mouth. This caused the blades of wind to stop. Dracius let down his shield as well.  
"What is this putrid stench?" Luc asked.  
"Well, I made it a few days ago. It's called 'Bane de Raw Sewa'ge'." Devin explained. "It's gonna make you fell pretty nauseous for the next few days."  
"Heh. And you only wish you had a few days, Luc." Dracius stated in an evil way as he stabbed Luc through his heart, killing him.  
"Dracius, you can't kill Luc! Think of the sequel!" Devin shouted.  
"I don't know anything about this 'sequel', but Leknaat is just going to revive him like always. He's just fun to kill." Dracius stated in a dark fashion.  
"You disappoint me, Dracius." Leknaat said mysteriously as she appeared. "I will revive Luc again, but first I must talk with you, Dracius. You've murdered 9,999 innocents and/or stars of destiny. One more and I can legally kill you, you know."  
"Whatever. C'mon Devin. Sierra." Dracius instructed as the three walked away.  
Once Genkaku Castle was out of sight, Dracius brought up a disturbing matter.  
"You know, Devin, though you couldn't have, I could've used my rune to get us out of there."  
"Yeah, I know." Devin responded.  
"What? Then why didn't you remind me?" Dracius inquired, feeling a little annoyed.  
"Oh, I thought you knew and you were just being lazy."  
"Whatever. Where shall we go first, 'friends'?" Dracius asked sarcastically.  
Devin and Sierra both put very big smiles on their face after that word. "Friends. . . . . . . ." they both said slowly.  
"Oh, no. No!" Dracius pleaded.  
"Group hug!" Sierra shouted as she forced Devin and Dracius into a large group hug.  
"Help me. . . ." Dracius begged.  
"Yep, just like old times." Devin said.  
  
To be continued. . . . . .  
  
Well, leave reviews if you want my story to improve or anything. I'll try my best. Next chapter will be up soon. Give ideas if you have any. 


	3. Memories

I don't own the Suikoden 2. If you read this, please review it. I wouldn't even mind getting told that this story is stupid as long as I know that people are reading this.  
Chapter 3: Memories  
"Could we please stop hugging?" Dracius begged.  
"Fine." Devin and Sierra both said as they released Dracius from their grasps.  
'Wonderful.' Dracius thought. 'Now I'm stuck with two overly affectionate idiots. What uses have beings for these FRIENDS anyhow? Well, whatever. If I can manage to kill Devin, Sierra will be easy pickings because she doesn't have defense magic. Yeah, I'll kill them. I'll kill them and laugh. I'll laugh so long that the planet shall die before I'm through laughing.'  
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Dracius laughed in a maniacal way.  
"What was that all about?" Sierra asked Devin.  
"I dunno. He does that sometimes these days. I have no idea why, though." Devin replied obliviously.  
"Well, where should we go?" Sierra questioned while scratching her head.  
"Oh, oh, let's travel through that mountain pass, 'dearest friends.' I'll even scout ahead to make sure it's safe." Dracius volunteered sarcastically.  
"Well, okay. We'll wait here, I guess." Devin retorted as Dracius started ahead.  
'Perfect.' Dracius thought. 'Now, if I just set up some bow and arrow traps in the mountain walls, I can kill one of them off. Maybe both!'  
Dracius made it to the mountains, set the traps that he conveniently had in his small leather backpack, and ran back to Devin and Sierra.  
"Okay, it's safe. Let's go." Dracius instructed.  
"So, where are we going again?" Devin inquired.  
'Just ignore it. He'll be dead soon anyways.' Dracius told himself.  
"That way, I believe." Sierra said, pointing in the direction she believed they were going in.  
"Okay, let's go." Dracius stated, getting a little impatient.  
As the three advanced towards the mountain pass (which magically appeared seeing as it wasn't there in the game), Dracius began to fall a little behind his immortal companions so as not to be hit with the poison arrow traps. The traps sprung a moment sooner. All 15 arrows were speeding towards Devin. 'This is it.' Dracius thought with his eyes closed with excitement. 'He's gonna die!' Dracius waited for a scream of pain or something like that, but heard nothing. He opened his eyes to find all 15 arrows in Devin's hands.  
"Hmm. Lots of bandits these day or something." Devin said as he tossed the arrows out of his hands.  
'How the hell did he do that?' Dracius thought. 'It's as though Sidenda, dragon goddess of life, death, gambling, wine, and inner pains, wants to spare him, just to feed off of my own inner pains!'  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dracius yelled.  
"I don't think I understand him anymore." Sierra sighed.  
"You mean you could to begin with? Wow." Devin responded, somehow amazed.  
So, these 'saviors' as they may someday be called continued to travel along the mountain path. After a few hours, they got tired and decided to make camp. The tent, of course, was somehow jammed inside Dracius' small backpack. I mean, it only had one strap, it was so small. After camp was made, the three immortals began to converse.  
"You know what?" Devin asked. "I think we should tell some scary stories so no one can get to sleep."  
"How about stories of our childhood? That was pretty scary to me." Dracius replied.  
"Yeah! Let's reminisce!" Sierra added.  
"That was sarcasm, but I don't really care anyhow." Dracius stated lazily.  
"Well, I think I'll start when Sierra and I met you, Dracius." Devin explained. "That was WAY back when we were all about thirteen. . . . . . . . . . . . " ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Hey, look at that up in the sky, Sierra. What do you suppose that little dot is?" A very not-vampire Devin inquired as he pointed up to the sky.  
"Hmm. I dunno, Devie. Maybe it's a shooting star." A not-old Sierra responded.  
"Maybe it is! Let's make a wish!" Devin shouted.  
"Okay, um, I wish we had another friend to hang out with!" Sierra wished.  
"Me too!" Devin agreed.  
Incidentally, the dot in the sky was Dracius. He came crashing down. He wasn't dead, but he was pretty beat up. You'd think he would have burned up upon returning to the atmosphere.  
"Ouch, my head." A short-fanged beat up Dracius complained upon getting up.  
"Hi! Who are you?" Sierra greeted.  
"Uh, I'm Dracius. A half-dragon whom is shunned everywhere. My life is a joke." Dracius replied.  
"Aw, that's so sad. Well, I'm Sierra and this is Devin, my best friend and pretty much only friend. Soooooo, let's all be friends!" Sierra shouted gleefully.  
"Okay, whatever." Dracius responded blankly.  
"Yay!" Devin and Sierra exclaimed at the same time.  
"Hey, hey, remember when we met you, Dracius? It seemed like only yesterday. . . . . . . ." Devin trailed off, reminiscing on events that had only happened that day.  
". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." Dracius said nothing as his anger and hatred towards Devin slowly grew. That was the beginning of his life going downhill. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Not a Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"I remember why I came flying toward you guys, too. Some old man took me to school in Dragon-style fighting. I never did exact my revenge." Dracius stated coldly. "O'Course, that day DID mark the beginning of my life going downhill."  
"That's one of the nicest things you've ever said." Devin retorted, obviously not catching Dracius' meaning. "Those days were great. Just us three kids, having fun. Remember that flying squirrel we met a few months after you showed up when Sierra had to go to town to buy food since her mom was sick, Drak?" Devin questioned.  
"Uh, sure. Just don't call me Drak." Dracius replied lazily. "Wait a minute! Food? What do vampires eat, anyhow?"  
"Well, we suck blood out of raw meat." Sierra answered proudly. "That's what my family did, anyhow.  
"Whatever. Devin, get on with the impending flashback." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Come see, come see!" Devin shouted, pulling Dracius along by his arm.  
"What is it, Devin? Not more of those 'land fish' droppings, I hope." Dracius hoped.  
"No, this is way cooler than that!" Devin insisted.  
"Joy." Dracius responded joylessly.  
When Devin ceased from dragging Dracius, Dracius gazed at his surroundings. He saw a flying squirrel wearing a red cape.  
"Uh, it's a squirrel." Dracius pointed out.  
"Yeah, isn't he cool? He's the leader of his tribe, too. His name's Makomuko."  
"If I didn't know mindfulness runes existed, I would shudder to think how you knew all that." Dracius retorted.  
"Well, I don't have any more mindfulness runes, and seems to want something, but I don't know what." Devin said.  
"Alright, I speak some squirrel. It's a complicated language, really. I'll see if I know what he wants." Dracius stated confidently as he walked closer to the squirrel and leaned down.  
"Mu mo, mo mu ma momu!" Makomuko exclaimed.  
"Oh, really? Well, I've got what you're looking for." Dracius responded as he searched his pack.  
"What's he want?" Devin inquired excitedly.  
"This." Dracius replied as he pulled out a painting of a female squirrel without its cape and handed it to Makomuko. "It's what every male squirrel wants, really."  
"MU!" Makomuko shouted. "Uh, it's a painting of a capeless squirrel girl." Devin pointed out, now very confused.  
"Yep, and to him, that's pretty hot." Dracius retorted, almost chuckling. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Not a Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Uh, you had a painting of a female squirrel without its cape?" Sierra asked, somewhat disgusted.  
"Trust me, it's a long story, and it ends with me in the middle of the wilderness with nothing but my under shorts." Dracius answered. "Well, I'd say it's time for me to remind us of a disturbing point in our childhood."  
"Okay, let's hear it!" Devin shouted.  
"Alright, how about the time when you and I received true runes. . . . . . . . ." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Aw, do you really have to leave, Drak? You've only been here a few months!" Devin pointed out to Dracius as though he didn't know.  
"I know, I know, and don't call me Drak!" Dracius retorted.  
"Well, if you're leaving, at least let me show you that shrine-thingy that's conveniently hidden behind my house!" Devin begged.  
"Whatever." Dracius responded.  
Devin led Dracius to the back of his house, where Sierra was waiting for them.  
"What took so long? I've been waiting here for hours!" Sierra scolded.  
"Sorry. Devin got held up telling me a very 'interesting' story about walking trees with fangs, claws, and whiskers." Dracius explained.  
"They're real, I tell you!" Devin insisted.  
"Sure they are, Devin. Anyways, let's check this out already!" Sierra exclaimed impatiently.  
"Okay, getting in requires the sacred word. I will now speak it. ARRRRRIBA!" Devin yelled, causing the boulder in front of the shrine cave to disappear.  
"Wow. Sacred words sure are messed up these days." Dracius pointed out in response to Devin's strange ritual of sorts.  
The three children slowly walked into the cave. Eventually, they came upon a large tablet with writing on it.  
"Uh, that's it?" Dracius inquired. "A rock with illegible markings?"  
"Heh. Yeah." Devin answered.  
"This shall go among the biggest wastes of time in my life. Furthermore, I-  
Just then, a pillar of light appeared and surrounded Devin and Dracius, disabling Dracius from finishing his statement. It warped then to a different part of the shrine, where the two boys saw Leknaat for the first time.  
"Greetings, Devin and Dracius. Welcome to your new destiny." She said.  
"Yeah, yeah. Who are you?" Dracius asked demandingly.  
"I shouldn't have to tell you that. Isn't it obvious who I am?" Leknaat questioned.  
"Not really." Devin stated.  
"Fine. I am Leknaat. You know, keeper of the Gate rune?" Leknaat inquired rhetorically.  
There was a long silence.  
"I've come to grant True Runes to the two of you and-  
"True Runes? Why didn't you say so?" Devin asked.  
"Well, before you are granted runes, I should probably tell you how-  
"Shut up and tell me where the runes are." Devin demanded.  
"That way." Leknaat sighed as she pointed to the right.  
"Cool. Thanks, old lady." Devin said as he ran off.  
"Right. So what were you gonna say?" Dracius inquired.  
"Well, I was going to explain how to use them properly. Say you were trapped in some sort of prison cell. These runes could help you out." Leknaat explained.  
"Interesting." Dracius replied. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Not a Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Ha!" Devin laughed. "Like we'll ever end up in prison!"  
". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." Dracius said nothing in response.  
"Well, you guys both had flashbacks, so I'd say it's my turn." Sierra said.  
"Great. What kind of flashback are YOU going to have? Some kinda vampire affair?" Dracius questioned.  
"I might, but affairs aren't very humorous or scary. I was thinking maybe the time when Devin was almost eaten by a baby land dragon about a month before you left, Dracius. We were all climbing a mountain that day. . . . . . . . . ." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Where's Devin? Is he being lazy again and falling behind?" Sierra called down to Dracius.  
"Of course not!" Dracius shouted back. "A rock that he was holding onto broke off, so now he's basically hanging on by a thread. I was hoping he would have fallen to his doom by now, but my dreams never come true!"  
". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." Sierra didn't speak as she stared down at Dracius, giving him the evil eye.  
"Fine. I'll save his sorry butt yet again." Dracius said in response.  
Dracius sprouted his small dragon wings, flew down, grabbed Devin be his shirt collar, and flew him up to a balcony in the mountain.  
"Well, my wings just got their exercise for the day." Dracius stated.  
"Why are you so lazy with them anyhow?" Sierra asked.  
"Well in truth, I'm a lazy guy." Dracius answered proudly.  
"Right. Well, let's keep climbing." Sierra ordered.  
The two climbed until they reached the balcony Dracius placed Devin on, rested a bit, and then resumed climbing. They reached a cave a few hours later and decided to rest there.  
"I don't think it's a good idea for us to rest in a cave, guys." Devin stated.  
"Devin, you don't even think. Just relax." Dracius instructed as he closed his eyes.  
As the three rested, a small land dragon appeared from the depths and started vigorously sniffing around Dracius.  
"Grr, it's too early for this. . . . . . ." Dracius whispered in his sleep.  
Next, the dragon started sniffing around Sierra.  
"Mmm, stop that, Devin. I don't have any apples with me, and even if I did, you can't really smell apples that easily anyhow. . . . . . . ." Sierra mumbled in her sleep.  
The dragon then stomped over to Devin and sniffed around him. Man, you'd think they would've woken up by now. . . . . .  
"That tickles. Kind of like porcupine quills. . . . ." Devin muttered.  
'Brainless. That's the way I like my raw meat.' The dragon thought. The dragon started to nibble on Devin's shoulder. He was pretty big, so I don't see why he didn't just eat him whole.  
"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want you sucking my blood, Sierra?" Devin asked.  
"What are you talking about? You're the one sniffin' me for apples." Sierra responded in her sleep.  
"Will you people shut up? I'm trying to read here." Dracius said, still sleeping. "I'm reading a book on advanced strategy, I'll have you know."  
"No you're not! You're asleep!" Devin shouted, waking himself up in the process. "Good morning, Dragon!"  
Now, it took Devin a while to remember that Dracius wasn't a land dragon and that his name was Dracius.  
"Uh, oh yeah. AHH!!" Devin screamed, waking up his comrades in doing so.  
"What is it, Devin?" Dracius demanded, looking over at the dragon after saying that. "C'mon, Devin! Can't we go ANYWHERE without you attracting some age-old beast that could eat us with unfathomable ease!"  
"I don't know why you're talking about the ocean, but we've got a real problem here!" Devin responded.  
"I'll ignore the first part of what you just said, but only this once." Dracius warned. "Now then, he's eating you and not me, so that's good. It'd be nice if I had a sword with me, but what would a thirteen-year old boy be doing with a sword?"  
"Uh, here! Use this dagger!" Devin exclaimed as he tossed a dagger over to Dracius. You'd think the dragon would have eaten them considering all the time they were wasting.  
"This thing is rusted! What kind of knife is this?" Dracius scolded.  
"Well, what do you expect? I haven't unsheathed that thing in 8 years!"  
"Alright, I guess I'll get up now instead of listening to you two argue." Sierra stated.  
"Ah, Sierra. Good. Now, if you could just bite his neck there, we could-  
"What? Me? Bite something that ugly? Not on your life, Dracky." Sierra replied in a rude tone.  
"But, but! It's on Devin's life!" Dracius pointed out.  
"Hmm. Wait a minute! What are you implying?" Sierra questioned.  
"Oh, nothing." Dracius insisted. "Let's just say I may know about that little mountain incident. . . . . . ."  
"Fine, fine. I bite the dragon's neck, but only because you just promised not to tell anyone about that."  
Sierra's sharp teeth punctured a hole in the dragon's scales, allowing Dracius to stab the dragon in its neck, thereby killing it. Somehow.  
"Well, I'm glad that's over. I'm really glad none of us got hurt." Devin said.  
"Sure, sure. There's just one thing that's really bugging me. How did the dragon not make it past your shoulder when it was eating you?" Dracius asked.  
"Huh? Oh. That's an easy one! Look at this!" Devin shouted as he pulled his shirtsleeve open, letting out several pots and pans with teeth marks in them, which ungracefully tumbled to the ground. "I keep my mom's kitchenware up my shirt."  
"About time your stupidity and pointless antics paid off." Dracius responded.  
"Well, let's get back to sleep!" Sierra exclaimed.  
So, the three went back to sleep. While this is redundant, it feels right somehow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Not a Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Well, I guess it's getting pretty late. Let's go to sleep!" Sierra exclaimed.  
"Aye, aye!" Devin retorted, trying to sound cute I guess.  
"Whatever." Dracius mumbled, upset that Devin barely got injured in the land dragon incident.  
  
To be continued. . . . . . .  
  
The next chapter will be up soon. If you have any ideas for more misadventures these three undertake, be sure to tell me! I could integrate them in the actual storyline somehow! 


	4. The Ox Man

Reviews have been slow, so I'll add some romance in this chapter to get people to read. If you read it, review it. It'd be a nice thing for you to do, so please read this.  
Chapter 4: The Ox Man, or Something  
The three fell asleep fast, but Devin awoke in the middle of the night. He felt as urge as he got up, but he wasn't sure what it was. The sun still hadn't risen, and Devin knew that he never woke up this early unless he felt uneasy about something. He looked over at Sierra. She was still lying down, sleeping. 'She looks so beautiful lying there, bathed in moonlight.' Devin thought. He thought about walking over to her, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. They had held each other many times before, but something was different now. They had both changed over the last 900 years, Sierra for better, and Devin for worse. 'She's wise, and I'm foolish. She's beautiful, and I'm hideous.' Devin thought as he pulled he scarf down and touched his unsightly scars. 'What was I thinking about again?' Devin asked himself. For some reason, he couldn't think straight. 'Maybe my brain die again. Yep, me think it did. I hit head now.' Devin thought as he began to pound his head.  
After about an hour of hitting his head and thinking, Devin finally worked up the courage to walk over to Sierra and gaze upon her face up close. When he stopped walking and sat down next to a sleeping Sierra, he began to get nervous. 'I know I, uh, shouldn't do something like this, but I, um, got to. I hope Sierra doesn't wake up.' The vampire thought as he leaned over to Sierra's soft neck and gently began to brush his lips against it, and then started to kiss it. Devin basked in the warmth and softness of Sierra's tender neck as he began to lightly stroke her face, but not before removing his black gauntlets. Sierra began to smile in her sleep from the pleasure of being touched so gently. This was the most exciting moment Devin had had in centuries.  
Dracius started to get up a few moments later. When he saw Devin mouth on Sierra's neck while she was sleeping, he could think of only one thing: Blackmail. He pulled out a sheet of paper, a quill, and some ink in order to draw what he was seeing. "Uh, he's biting her neck? Man, vampire kisses are so messed up." Dracius whispered to himself as he started to draw more quickly. "But blackmail's blackmail, and beggars can't, uh, not beg or something like that. Great, I'm starting to sound like Devin." It only took Dracius a few minutes to finish his ink painting, and he then went back to sleep. 'You're in for a rude awakening in the morning, Devin.' He thought.  
Devin figured it was time that he went to sleep. He stopped kissing and stroking Sierra, put his gloves on, and leaned over to Sierra's ear. "See you in the morning, Sierra." He whispered. "I love you." He kissed her one more time and then started to walk over to his own sleeping place, feeling pretty good about himself, but then he tripped. 'Well, that was, uh, what's that word again? Oh yeah, stupid.' He thought. When he got to his sleeping place, he lay himself down and fell asleep, but not before putting his scarf up over the bottom half of his face.  
In the morning, Dracius and Devin awoke just as the sun was rising. Sierra was still sleeping.  
"Hey, Devin, what were you doing up so late last night?" Dracius asked.  
"Uh, nothing." Devin answered uneasily.  
"Oh, really? Well, do you remember this?" Dracius inquired as he searched his sleeping place for his painting, but to no avail. "Hey, where'd my painting go?"  
"Maybe a squirrel ate it. Or maybe a bear man!" Devin suggested.  
"Devin, it's far too early for this." Dracius scolded.  
Just then, a loud snoring noise echoed from a short distance away.  
"Did you hear that?" Dracius questioned.  
"Yeah. No wait, no." Devin responded.  
"Whatever. We're going to follow that sound." Dracius ordered.  
Devin and Dracius started running towards the source of the sound. As they ran, they found an extremely muscular man lying on the ground, snoring. He had spiky brown hair and no shoes. He wore a blue karate gi and a black bandana. As Devin and Dracius walked over to him, he awakened.  
"Look, Drak! The bear man's moving!" Devin shouted.  
"Devin, shut the h-  
"Hey!" the muscle man exclaimed, interrupting Dracius. "Did you say bear man? Do you mean to tell me that you know something about Viktor?"  
"Well, we know that he's not a very nice guy. We also know that he lives in a castle, bear man." Devin explained.  
"What did you say? How dare you associate me with Viktor the Bear! I am Kaine the Ox!" the, uh, ox man yelled.  
There was a short period of silence after that statement.  
"I'm sorry, did you just say ox?" Dracius asked.  
"Yeah, I said ox!" Kaine retorted.  
". . . . . . . . . . . . . ." Devin and Dracius were both silent.  
"What?" Kaine questioned. ". . . . . . . . . . . . . ." The two remained silent.  
"WHAT!?" Kaine shouted. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Devin and Dracius both exploded with laughter.  
"Argh! There is nothing funny about Kaine the Ox!" Kaine the, um, 'ox' insisted.  
"Ha! What kind of self respecting warrior refers to himself as something as useless as an ox?" Dracius cackled.  
"Yeah! Viktor the Bear was funny, but Kaine the Ox? C'mon!" Devin laughed.  
"Grr. STOP LAUGHING!!!" Kaine exploded, causing some trees to fall down and causing Devin and Drak to stop laughing immediately.  
"Whoa." Dracius mumbled.  
"That's it! You two are dead!" Kaine screamed as he charged forward. Dracius and Devin tried to dodge his attack, but Kaine pulled out two gigantic two-handed axes, which he easily wielded with one hand. He then proceeded to strike both Devin and Dracius, knocking them to the ground and digging deep gashes into their chests all at the same time.  
"Well, we're boned." Dracius said matter-of-factly.  
"Hmm. Why do you small boys not get up and fight back?" Kaine inquired.  
"Gee, I dunno. You're fast, angry, and swing those huge axes around like they're frickin' twigs. But of course we can fight back!" Dracius replied sarcastically.  
"Ho ho ho! You puny boys obviously need training in the way of the warrior. I'll tell you what. If one of you boys can defeat me in a duel, I will train you both."  
"Very well then!" Dracius announced in a brave tone. "Devin, you go."  
"No way! Even I'm not that stupid!" Devin exclaimed in response.  
"Darn. How about this? You fight him, and I'll give you a bottle of ground up mole bones. Do we have a d-?  
"Deal!" Devin shouted, drool gushing out of his mouth.  
"Alright. This will be a fist-to-fist duel. First man, or boy, to be knocked down loses. To be fair, I shall give you the first strike." Kaine explained. "Hit me!"  
"Okay." Devin stated, pulling his fist back. He charged his fist with dark energy from his rune, and then followed through with the hardest punch he could manage. As his fist impacted against Kaine abdomen, a large cracking sound was created. "OWW!!! I THINK I BROKE ALL OF THE BONES IN MY HAND!"  
"Wow. You're even more pathetic then I thought. I suppose I shall train you anyhow, but only if you help me to find Viktor." Kaine announced.  
"What's all this noise out here?" Sierra asked from the shadows. "You woke me up with all of this commotion, I'll have you know!"  
"Yeah, well, I GUESS we're sorry and everything, but we were busy fightin' ox, here." Dracius explained.  
"Hmm." Sierra, started to examine ox, err, Kaine. "Judging by your tan, I would say you're a Grasslander."  
"Si. I mean, yes." Kaine retorted.  
"Did you recruit him or something like that?" Sierra questioned Dracius and Devin.  
"I think so. He said he'd train us." Devin said, holding his now bandaged hand up and smiling at the same time. "I broke my hand while punching him."  
"Your friend smiles at his pain." Kaine whispered to Dracius.  
"Yes." Was Dracius' response.  
"Boys, do we really want a mortal with us on our journey? His skills are surely limited." Sierra insisted.  
"Mortal? Bah! Hardly, bloodsucker. I am as old as this planet. I also bear a rune." Kaine said, removing his bandana to reveal a rune on his forehead. "Behold! The Immortal Ox Rune!"  
There was an extremely long silence after this.  
"The what?" Devin dared to ask.  
"The Immortal Ox Rune! It grants the bearer immortality and ox-like abilities." Kaine exclaimed.  
"Uh, did you say ox-like abilities? What abilities would oxen have?" Dracius questioned.  
"Behold!" Kaine roared as he shut his eyes and concentrated. As he was doing so, two ox horns sprouted trough his head, causing a silence in the others out of shear disgust. "Ah! Too stunned to speak, are you?"  
"Uh. . . . Duh. . . . . Err. . . . . . . ." Devin babbled just before he puked.  
"Well, that's more than I ever wanted to see. Are those elf bones?" Dracius inquired.  
"Maybe." Devin replied as he started to smile.  
"Well, shall we get going?" Kaine asked.  
"I guess so. I never did find my ink drawing, though." Dracius pointed out.  
"Hmm? Oh, you mean that white slab with lines on it? I ate it!" Kaine responded proudly.  
". . . . . . . . . . . . You did WHAT!?" Dracius asked.  
"Yeah, I thought it was some sort of food. I was hungry." Kaine explained.  
". . . . . . . . . . . ." Dracius could think of nothing to say.  
"Hey ox, how come you're looking for bear man?" Devin questioned.  
"Well, it all started about 15 years ago. I was the most powerful man in the dojo I taught fighting in. No one could defeat me. But, one day, a bear o a man entered my dojo. He challenged me to a fist-to-fist combat duel. I, of course, accepted thinking that no one could defeat me. The battle was fierce and raged on for hours. We fought our hardest, but I could endure no more. He knocked me down with his next punch. I was disgraced! He became the champion of the dojo though I was the sensei there. He left the next day, taking with him my title, and my pride. That man was Viktor. I have hunted him relentlessly ever since, training rigorously each and every day." Kaine told the three.  
"Uh. . . . . . ." Devin mumbled as his head tilted, his eye squinted and drool begun to pour out of his mouth.  
"Great, Kaine. You used too many big words." Sierra scolded.  
"Hey, wait a minute! If you're as old as you say, how did a mortal man beat you?" Dracius inquired.  
"Shut up!" Kaine ordered.  
Just then, the stomachs of Devin, Dracius, and Sierra began to growl.  
"Say, ox, you got anything to eat?" Devin asked hopefully, still recovering from his brain trauma.  
"Just this 'Raw Sewa'ge' stuff." Kaine answered.  
"I'm beginning to really hate this whole country." Dracius said.  
"Me too, but in spite of the fact that Raw Sewa'ge is the most disgusting excuse for food I've ever eaten, I guess we'll have to." Devin stated.  
"Or we could just eat you." Dracius muttered.  
"What'd you say, Drak?" Devin asked obliviously.  
"Nothing." Dracius retorted quietly.  
As the four conversed, a blonde boy wearing a green jacket carrying a rather large sack passed by.  
"Freaks." He quickly said as he passed them by.  
"What did you say to me?" Sierra asked, suddenly recognizing him. "Well, if it isn't Sheena?"  
"Huh? Sierra?" Sheena replied as he turned around and began to sweat. "Uh, did I say freaks? I meant, uh, err, um, sheiks! Yeah, that's it!"  
"Uh. . . . . . . Sheiks?" Devin inquired.  
"Yeah, you know, um. . . . . . . ." Sheena started to think, and then noticed that Sierra started to get angry. "C'mon, Sierra! I was just kidding! You know I love you! Along with any other pretty girl I happen to meet. . . . ."  
"Oh, I get it! He's a player!" Devin shouted with realization.  
". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." Everyone else was silent.  
"Okay Sheena, here's the deal: You come with us on our 'journey' or whatever, and I spare your life." Sierra explained.  
"I don't know. I'm still pretty tired from the war, and there's only one girl in the whole lot of you." Sheena complained.  
"Besides, Sierra, you just got done saying how you don't want any mortals c-  
"Well, this mortal happens to be useful, Dracius. As a decoy." Sierra stated, interrupting Dracius.  
"Hey, I never even said I was coming with you guys!" Sheena yelled.  
"Listen, uh, Shina." Dracius said.  
"Hey, that's not how you spell my name, old man!" Sheena shouted angrily.  
"I don't know what you're talking about, but listen. You come with us and do some big important thing in addition to fighting in the war; you'll be even more famous with those 'women' things you keep talking about. Sound good?" Dracius asked.  
"Hell yeah, it sounds good! Let's get goin'!" Sheena instructed.  
"Yeah!" Devin cheered.  
"Wait!" Dracius exclaimed. "What have you got to eat, Sheena?"  
"Well, I spent most of my money on gambling so all I have is this slop they call 'Raw Sewa'ge'." Sheena replied.  
"Gr." Dracius growled. "Let's go, then." So the five were walking and, um, walking. They made it through the mountain pass that wasn't there before and were walking along the plains when some bandits came out of nowhere. Seriously. They just randomly appeared right before the group's eyes. The bandits pulled knives out. "I'll handle this." Devin told the others. "I don't know, OLD MAN. Sure you won't break your hip or something?" Sheena inquired in a rude fashion.  
"I'm gonna ignore that." Devin responded as he drew two swords.  
"Devin, since when do you have two swords?" Dracius questioned.  
"Remember when we met bear man and he was returning some sword? I took it." Devin said proudly.  
"You idiot! That was the Star Dragon Sword! Now we'll be annoyed and ridiculed daily." Dracius stated gloomily.  
"Far more often than that I'm afraid." The Star Dragon Sword bellowed. "As for you, Devin, it's about time you unsheathed me!"  
"Yeah, yeah. Still know how to cleave, Rusty?" Devin rudely remarked as he lunged forward and sliced the heads off of a few of the bandits. He then channeled magic from his rune into the Star Dragon Sword and threw it at one bandit as though it was a javelin. He then finally decided to use magic directly from his rune. "Black Flare!" Devin shouted as a phantom dragon appeared, charged up a black fireball in his mouth, and blasted it, killing off the remaining bandits.  
"How was that, guys?" Devin asked as he walked over to the corpse of one bandit and yanked out the Star Dragon Sword.  
"Two questions." Dracius replied. "First, why didn't the bandits fight back? Second, why did you use your rune's most powerful spell? You can only use that once a day!"  
"You'd have an easier time answering the first one than me, Drak. And I used my best spell 'cause we'll never actually need it." Devin explained.  
"Ahem!?" The Star Dragon Sword roared to catch everyone's attention. "Devin, how dare you, my servant, pour YOUR energy into ME?"  
"That sword speaks our language! It must be cursed!" Kaine shouted as he drew his axes, prepared to smash the sword into pieces.  
"Stand down, Curtis." Sierra instructed.  
"Okay. Wait, my name isn't Curtis! It's Kaine!" Kaine yelled.  
"Right. So we gonna get going or what?" Sheena asked.  
"You guys go ahead. Devin, stay here." Sierra ordered.  
"Whatever. See you guys later." Dracius mumbled as he, Kaine, and Sheena started walking away. When they were almost out of sight, Sierra began to speak.  
"Listen, Devin. I know what you were doing last night." Sierra explained.  
"You do?" Devin inquired as he began to get nervous. "So, are you mad?"  
"Mad? Of course not! But, let's just say that I expect better next time you do something like that." Sierra seductively whispered in Devin's ear.  
"Okay. But, what's a 'better'?" Devin questioned while maintaining his stupid demeanor.  
"Never mind." Sierra sighed. "C'mon, let's catch up to the others!"  
So, they, uh, ran towards the others I guess. They, uh, walked s'more when they did catch up. While they were walking, Sierra looked over at Devin.  
'Same ol' Devin.' Sierra thought.  
  
To be continued. . . . . . . .  
  
There. You see that? Romance. Leave a review please. Next chapter will be up soon. 


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